Writing Zazen

Monday, 4 June 2007

9 of cups

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 6:44 pm

Monday 4June07 7:33pm

It’s a perfect night to go rollerblading. It’s warm but not stifling and there is a decent breeze. But I’ve got too much stuff that I want to do, so maybe tomorrow.

I was a cranky pants at work today. Impatient. Didn’t want to listen to anyone’s gibberish. I had an emotional outburst because the air conditioning was too high. Why, when the weather gets warm, must everyone crank up the AC? Really if we could all just use them to take the edge off the heat instead of feeling like you’re living in the arctic. sigh! I was actually contemplating longjohns in our office. Not pretty.

In my mode of crankyness, I had to talk myself off the ledge. Why am I so cranky? What changes can I make to feel more satisfied?

I got home and worked out for 30 minutes. Gonna sit down and write for the rest of the evening. Always realize that I need a certain amount of focus in my free time. It’s when I’m not writing enough that I get cranky and impatient.

I pulled the 9 of cups from the Robin Wood Tarot.
Fat, happy, jolly, grinning man. Happy with the way things are. Emotions under control. Satisfaction.

It’s how I’ve started to feel since I decided to get over it. Stop being so cranky and do the work that makes me feel happy. And give up on the whole impatient thing, it serves no purpose anyway. We’ll see how that all pans out.

SW

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Tuesday, 29 May 2007

Competition with myself

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 6:20 pm

Tuesday 7:07pm 29May07

Well, I’ve missed quite a few days of pulling cards. My most recent card was the 5 of wands (Universal Waite). The image immediately makes me think about competition. I’m not feeling like I’m competing against anyone so decided to look at competing with myself. Looking at ways to improve what I’m doing. Or doing more today than I did yesterday.

It’s always a battle to get some kind of consistency and balance. Competing with others never motivates me to do more. But competing with myself? That has magic.

Christin Snyder who has a couple yahoo groups has started a blog with Tarot info.
all things tarot.

Her interpretation of the five of wands:
“Card: Five of Wands
Simple Interpretation: Inner conflict, turmoil, possible conflict or confrontations in the workplace or family, a need for compromise, a need for more clarity or to get clear on what ones true goal is. battles between heart/head”

I have to admit that I am battling between my heart and my head. Stuck in that caring for something and thinking of all the reasons why it would be safer for me not to care.

Check out her blog, it’s looking like it will be a good one.

SW

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Choosing how I want to feel

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 6:18 pm

Tuesday 15May07 7:12pm

I pulled the Queen of Swords this morning from the Thoth deck and I’m just not feeling it. I’m not ready to tell everyone what I honestly think as I may totally ruin some relationships. Sometimes that kid of honesty isn’t the best medicine. Not right now when I don’t feel attached to any sort of tact or diplomacy. Best to keep my mouth shut.

Decided tonight I’d look for the card I want to be based on the picture. That card is the Priestess. With her arms open she’s absorbing the energies from the higher realms, connected to Source. She has all that she needs because she’s created/attracted it. She’s in her centre, focused, grounded, feeling the healing energy flowing through her. She has no blockages. She is open.

That’s what I want to feel tonight.

SW

Monday, 14 May 2007

Tarot – Flash Fiction Formula

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 7:01 pm

I’ve mentioned that I found Mark McElroy’s pdf Tarot for Creative Writers and I’ve been playing with writing stories using the Tarot. What I’ve come to realize is that it’s become so much fun for me that I’ve been rushing home from work to write a new story.

Back in the day, I used to rush home every single day from work anticipating sitting at the table in the living room (when I still lived with room mates) and pulling out my steno and writing like a fiend. I’ve moved so far away from that person for many years. It often felt like more of a fight to get organized and then the television somehow seeped into my time and I was vegging instead of creating. I’m happy to say that I’ve been keeping the television turned off and I’ve been playing with my writing.

That’s really the key for me, there has to be a certain amount of play. It’s that beginner’s mind and attitude when you know that you don’t know what you are doing and you believe that with daily practice things will improve.

I’ve been doing the Tarot short stories and I’ve been doing the poems where I pick five words out of a box and try to write a piece using all of those five words. Play! It’s great to have that focus to mold and sculpt the serious writing work like my novel but there still needs to be some play for me otherwise I start to avoid all the work I feel I need to do.

Here is the Flash Fiction Formula from Mark McElroy’s PDF Tarot for Creative Writers:

Card 1 – Who/When
Card 2 – What/Theme
Card 3 – Want/Need
Card 4 – Turning Point
Card 5 – End-Hint
Card 6 – Midpoint
Card 7 – Dark Hour
Card 8 – Learn Lesson
Card 9 – Rising Action
Card 10 – Climax
Card 11 – Reflection

I use this to get me to write and have fun writing. I have no plans on rereading the stories any time soon. Maybe in a year or so. I’ve got more than enough other writings to revise. This is purely for the fun of writing. And Thank Mark McElroy for giving me that again.

Hmm and I still allow myself the really good televison shows like Heroes… two more episodes.

Mark McElroy’s sites …Tarot Tools
Made by Mark
And google Mark McElroy Tarot for Creative Writers to find his PDF book!

SW

Sunday, 13 May 2007

More Tarot Fun

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 10:56 am

Sunday 11:44am 13May07

I decided today would be a stay at home and write all day day. Yesterday before I went out to the Forte concert I used one of Mark McElroy’s ideas of using the Tarot cards to write a short story. I used the Robin Wood Tarot deck because for some reason with that deck I can see the makings of a story just from looking at the cards. It was funny because the cards could easily pertain to me and my life and yet it was easy to look at a character going through the motions and conflict and setting the example.

Mark has a great Pdf available on the net just google his name and Tarot for Creative Writers. I used pages 28 to 33 for Flash fiction last night. While googling his name to find the pdf again to mention on my blog I found a couple other good Tarot articles and uses for them other than the obvious…

Ways to Use the Tarot
and Living the Tarot.

I keep meaning to get around to studying one tarot card at a time for about a week at a time. I don’t know if I can commit to one card for a whole month but you never know.

EY/SW

Friday, 11 May 2007

The Magician

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 5:06 pm

Friday 5:48pm 11May07

I pulled the Magician from the Universal Waite Deck this morning. Some of the keywords that I decided to choose include: Imagination, Creativity, doing what needs to be done, realizing your potential, producing magical results…

This morning I emailed the person who noticed my emotional funk last night to express my thanks for noticing that I was falling off the edge. People don’t always notice or they do notice but could give two shits. It is amazing how just noticing someone can change their whole outlook. Some of that falls in line with the magician for me.

Obviously the energy of the magician can be used towards ones art. Sitting down and taking all the magical elements to create something of worth. To express what needs to come out. To go deep.

EY/SW

Friday, 4 May 2007

Universe/ Page of Wands

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 4:49 pm

Last night I pulled the Universe from the Thoth tarot and this morning I pulled the Page of Wands from the Universal Waite Tarot.
The Universe could be having the world in my hand, realizing my goals, finding a beautiful solution, using a gift or talent. Having the world in my hands. Accomplishment – knowing that we have goals and are moving toward them successfully.
It inspired me to pull a bunch of books off my shelves to help to motivate me with my novel. Anything to jump start my direction. Yeah yeah I still have to read those 8 or 9 binders filled with notes and chapters and scenes but I still want to write in the meantime. The act of putting words to paper keeps me in touch with my characters. I opened, Writing the Breakout Novel to a random page and got into looking at my top three favorite novels and what they have in common. My top three novels are The Great Gatsby, Five Smooth Stones, the Third Life of Grange Copeland and I threw the Color Purple in there even though it made it four novels. Somehow reading the examples in Writing the Breakout novel and thinking about these novels at the same time really clicked in my mind. I came up with the two questions (the true premise) that the whole novel is trying to answer. A question pertaining to Rachel and Kali and a question pertaining to Rachel. It’s Kali’s story but her story is based on how she sees herself because of Rachel.
I actually said out loud, “Oh my God!” Rachel’s questions make her human and flawed and well meaning and just because we’re well meaning doesn’t mean that outcome is always perfect or what we expect.
Now I feel that I can read through all my notes and chapters and scenes looking for examples of those two questions being portrayed. The Universe, I’ve got my novel world in the palm of my hands.

The Page of Wands – be creative, be enthusiastic, be confident, be courageous.
Can I just say that I wanted to call in sick to work so badly this morning so I could stay home and work on my novel. As the French would say, Thanks God it’s Friday!”
On the Learning Tarot site the first action is take a novel approach. ha ha! take a novel approach to my novel.
So I am the Page of Wands pertaining to White Wishes, I’ve come up with a solution, jumping in wholeheartedly, excited, optimistic, saying/ screaming, “Yes I can!”. I know that where there’s a will there’s a way.

EY/ SW

Thursday, 3 May 2007

Reaching my Limits

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 5:09 pm

Thursday 5:45pm 3May07

I left work yesterday and walked down to pick up my tickets for last night’s reading plus the next readings for the month of May and June. I had an hour to kill still before the reading started so I decided I’d go for a walk. Decided I’d go wherever my legs took me. My legs took me home. ha ha! So I never did catch the reading. It was on travel writers and so far that hasn’t become an interest. Maybe when I actually start traveling I’ll be interested in finding out how other writers write about it. Right now the thought just depresses me and reminds me that I don’t get a chance to travel.

Too tired last night and this morning to pick a tarot card but yesterday morning’s card was the 9 of Swords. Something bugging me, keeping me awake at night? Not really but I’ve been darn tired. Mind you there is still that one person that I can’t seem to peg. Can’t totally figure him out and it may be time to let that all go. Sometimes the best thing to do is to let go and let the meaning come to you when you least expect it. But my thoughts of him haven’t been keeping me awake at night. So that’s my story on the 9 of Swords for now anyway.

An interesting journal to start would be a moon journal. When I read the in depth horoscopes like Susan Miller’s it will often mention an upcoming Full moon or eclipse or something and reference one from four years ago or last month and say that whatever issue you were dealing with on the previous one will surface on this one. Who ever remembers what the issues were from yesterday never mind four full moons ago? So it would be interesting to map them and see. At the very least it would be interesting to create a character who keeps such a journal. Yesterday was the full moon. The only issue that crept up was the continuation of feeling frustrated by those select people who take too much of my energy. Feeling like I’ve reached my limit and my patience has been saturated. I did write about it last night while eating my chicken wings before the Reading Interruptus. Yesterday’s full moon was in Scorpio.

Ha ha! But as I go back to look at the sheet on the 9 of swords I see – feeling you’ve reached your limits. Hmm. I pegged that with the full moon only. I love this shit!

My brain is currently more focused on climbing into bed and hibernating under my electric blanket. It’s nice to see sunshine but enough with the cold chill… When’s the warmer weather coming? Will we have any luck for May two-four weekend? Please Lord, can’t we?

EY & SW

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Taking Back What Belongs to Me

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 5:21 pm

Tuesday 1May07 5:30pm

I had a Calgon take me away moment. Jumped into a bubble bath the moment I walked in the door. It was one of those kind of days.

I pulled the 7 of Swords from the Universal Waite deck this morning. My immediate thought is that the guy/joker (he looks like a joker) is stealing 5 of the 7 swords while the others have their backs turned. The booklet has: new plans, wishes, fortitude, perseverance, endeavor, hope, confidence, fantasy, partial success.

None of that really resonated with me. Today I harassed a contractor. We had a tenant that needed something taken care of since last Thursday and the contractor just didn’t do it. I flipped this morning when I found out. I left a heated message on his voice mail so much so that he refused to return any of my calls because as I was told, he was scared of me. I emailed him every 15 minutes, “Is it done yet? Are they here yet? What time will they be here?” It was a pretty stressful situation and how I managed to deal with four irate employees of the tenant without any one of them ever yelling at me is beyond me. I don’t even know how I did it except that they knew that I was equally as pissed. The job was finally done six hours later with the contractor being very clear that I won’t be calling him anytime soon to pass on some work. We have enough of that kind of work that it will affect his livelihood.

Needless to say I needed the bubble bath to cleanse the anger off my body. To take care of myself first. To take back what belongs to me. As I did some deep breathing in the bath I wondered, what if the joker is actually taking back the swords that were stolen from him? He didn’t take them all, he only took what belonged to him.

Which somehow brings me to compassion. Today, two of the people who unload their problems on me made that attempt to unload. I couldn’t do it. I listened in such a way that I wasn’t giving my undivided attention like I normally do. I offered a suggestion to one of the people and when I realized that he had ten reasons why that couldn’t possibly work I thought, “If you’re not looking for solutions, I can’t help you.” I see now that I didn’t give away all my effort or energy. I didn’t put all my focus into the same old same old. I gave two swords and kept five for myself.

Hmm, In my tarot journal I wrote a better description: Compassion vs people who drain you of your mental resources. I gave two swords of compassion and smiling, kept the other five swords to myself. That works.

I went looking on the net for a picture of the card to add and instead found this page Seven of Swords. The funny thing is that I pulled the Hierophant last night from my Thoth deck and it is one of the opposing cards to the Seven of Swords. Where the Seven of Swords can be seen as a Joker shirking his responsibilities and hiding from them (like the contractor) and the Hierophant working with in the group and taking care of what the group needs (like me).

It’s so funny that I haven’t been looking at my cards to connect with each other. Like my cards of yesterday and the night before, the Ace of swords can be a new beginning in thought with the transformation (end of a cycle) of the death card.

I’m starting to see how I could create some interesting fiction just by pulling some tarot cards and how they can interlock. It’s fascinating and inspiring and fun.

EY & SW

Monday, 30 April 2007

Transformation

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 6:12 pm

Monday 5:54pm 30Apr07

Am I finished goofing off? I think I am. Sometimes it’s about doing nothing when you are too much of a do something kind of gal.

I’ve been feeling my tarot cards calling me, in that I’ve been thinking about my tarot cards and pulling a pack or two out. I amazed myself when I went through my box to discover how many decks I have. Plus during Nanowrimo I read an article about one of the participants using her tarot cards to guide the direction of her novel. I’ve always wanted to do that.

Looked around the net for any inspiration and found these links:
Tarot for Creative Writing
Burning Void Tarot 1
Burning Void Tarot 2

There’s more but this is a good start.

Of course I was thinking that if I’m going to play with the tarot I need to get back into pulling a card a day to get the feel for them again. It really has been a long time since I’ve done that. Last night I pulled the Ace of Swords from the Thoth deck and other than knowing that ones or aces are about new beginnings, not too much was coming to my mind.

This morning I pulled a card from the Universal Waite Deck asking, “What does the Universe need me to know today?” The idea I got from Tarot By Arwen. And the writing up part from Corrine Kenner
I pulled the Death card. My immediate thought was the end of a cycle. Surrender, prayer. But end of a cycle was the main thought.
The booklet that comes with the cards read: Out with the old, in with the new. End of a cycle. Change. Surrender

As I dug this afternoon for more meanings transformation came to mind. Transformation. What area of my life am I transforming or would I like to transform? My incident with a man last week has been swirling around my thoughts. I’ve been laughing quite a bit about it. Laughing at how some men will happily take advantage if the opportunity presents itself and will turn into whiny girls if a woman puts the kibosh on the taking advantage situation. My transformation is that I’m finally figuring men out, some of them anyway. I’m finally getting/ seeing the part I play in certain situations and keeping my own best interests at heart. And the reaction is amusing the heck out of me.

So the death is of the old me. It’s pretty thrilling. I’m all about transformation.

And finally transforming Writing Zazen. I think I may do the card a day entries here plus I just need to start blogging here regularly. I love using word press. I need to stop being so lazy about it.
SW

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