Writing Zazen

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Taking Back What Belongs to Me

Filed under: Card a Day — Silent Warrior @ 5:21 pm

Tuesday 1May07 5:30pm

I had a Calgon take me away moment. Jumped into a bubble bath the moment I walked in the door. It was one of those kind of days.

I pulled the 7 of Swords from the Universal Waite deck this morning. My immediate thought is that the guy/joker (he looks like a joker) is stealing 5 of the 7 swords while the others have their backs turned. The booklet has: new plans, wishes, fortitude, perseverance, endeavor, hope, confidence, fantasy, partial success.

None of that really resonated with me. Today I harassed a contractor. We had a tenant that needed something taken care of since last Thursday and the contractor just didn’t do it. I flipped this morning when I found out. I left a heated message on his voice mail so much so that he refused to return any of my calls because as I was told, he was scared of me. I emailed him every 15 minutes, “Is it done yet? Are they here yet? What time will they be here?” It was a pretty stressful situation and how I managed to deal with four irate employees of the tenant without any one of them ever yelling at me is beyond me. I don’t even know how I did it except that they knew that I was equally as pissed. The job was finally done six hours later with the contractor being very clear that I won’t be calling him anytime soon to pass on some work. We have enough of that kind of work that it will affect his livelihood.

Needless to say I needed the bubble bath to cleanse the anger off my body. To take care of myself first. To take back what belongs to me. As I did some deep breathing in the bath I wondered, what if the joker is actually taking back the swords that were stolen from him? He didn’t take them all, he only took what belonged to him.

Which somehow brings me to compassion. Today, two of the people who unload their problems on me made that attempt to unload. I couldn’t do it. I listened in such a way that I wasn’t giving my undivided attention like I normally do. I offered a suggestion to one of the people and when I realized that he had ten reasons why that couldn’t possibly work I thought, “If you’re not looking for solutions, I can’t help you.” I see now that I didn’t give away all my effort or energy. I didn’t put all my focus into the same old same old. I gave two swords and kept five for myself.

Hmm, In my tarot journal I wrote a better description: Compassion vs people who drain you of your mental resources. I gave two swords of compassion and smiling, kept the other five swords to myself. That works.

I went looking on the net for a picture of the card to add and instead found this page Seven of Swords. The funny thing is that I pulled the Hierophant last night from my Thoth deck and it is one of the opposing cards to the Seven of Swords. Where the Seven of Swords can be seen as a Joker shirking his responsibilities and hiding from them (like the contractor) and the Hierophant working with in the group and taking care of what the group needs (like me).

It’s so funny that I haven’t been looking at my cards to connect with each other. Like my cards of yesterday and the night before, the Ace of swords can be a new beginning in thought with the transformation (end of a cycle) of the death card.

I’m starting to see how I could create some interesting fiction just by pulling some tarot cards and how they can interlock. It’s fascinating and inspiring and fun.

EY & SW

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