Writing Zazen

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Angel at my feet

Filed under: Daily Practice,Inspiration,Warrior Woman Says — Silent Warrior @ 2:58 am

I conked out at 6:30pm last night and slept right through to 2:30am. I honestly thought I’d sleep for a couple hours and then get up and write. Fooled me. The only reason why I woke up was because my downstairs neighbours were banging a hammer or something. I figure their downstairs neighbours were making noise and they were banging their disapproval. Considered going down stairs to bang on their heads but thought better of it. Who needs a fight at 2 o’clock in the morning.

It’s peaceful now. Just a nice hum. The cats all sleep on their separate perches. The tap is dripping. That’s the extent of the noises at this time. I get the odd whiff of Orange scented pinesol of which I mopped the floors with on Sunday.

Lolo made it safely to Korea and is stoked about her new apartment. Front loading washing machine… I’m jealous.

Was in a mood for most of Monday. Announced to a contractor, “I’m not feeling very patient today, so you need to get to the point.” Ado laughed and said he felt sorry for whoever made the mistake of crossing my path.

I don’t know what it was that made me so moody. My thoughts got dark. I could understand why some people end their lives in suicide. The feeling that the problems never end and thinking, why bother? I used that energy for Rachel and wrote a small segment of White Wishes with Rachel feeling that sense of defeat with her alcoholic husband and her children that she had to care for no matter how tired she feels or defeated. It helped. There are days when you want to get back to the Source, when you know it’s up to you to feel connected but you just can’t.

I went up to the management office to drop off some stuff. As I came off the freight elevator I saw a glinty token on the floor. I kicked it and figured it was an insignia off a portfolio or something and kept going. When I came back it was still on the floor and I decided to pick it up. On it reads, “Always with you.” On the other side is an Angel.

Ohh! Talk about an immediate mood change. Source connected with me by dropping an angel at my feet. I forget that my life is magical. I forget that I have so many good things to focus on. I have many things to be grateful for: a job and coworkers I genuinely like, a place of my own that truly is my sanctuary, my three cats that make me giggle (Picasso was grooming me last night, rubbing her head against my scalp and then cleaning me), interests and hobbies, life long friends, good health, ideas, more than enough resources (books, music etc).

My buddy who got me into my bar mess called me yesterday morning at 8:30am asking, “You want to meet up on Wednesday?” So I have another outing this week. I figure he’s got news. I also figure I have to prepare myself for the combined teasing that he and Fredo will give me since they like to tag team against me. Bastards!

Today is the new moon. A perfect time to start a new project or a new job and get a new attitude.

Picasso is crying her squeaky cry at the door begging to go explore the hallway. Might as well let her out.
EY

Originally posted on my Writing2live blog.

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